In Loving Memory - Anthony Duffie

I know it was really hard for everyone trying to figure out their favorite memory. But all of you need to know how thankful we all are for everyone sharing their thoughts and memories of my baby.

Some of the memories made me cry knowing that Anthony was so loved by so many. Then their were others that were so damn funny I "laughed out loud".

I will try to share some of the vivid memories and thoughts of Anthony, but there truly are too many to list. When Anth was just a tiny little thing (hard to imagine, I know) he really was happy and smiling. Just like all of you described. He loved to play in dirt and get as absolutely filthy as he could get. He was always on the go. Never wanted to lay down or come in for fear of missing something. HATING when I was running late to get him somewhere (especially his football games). He always had so much energy. State Judo champ when he was about 7 years old. He would get on the mat to fight, and be smiling from ear to ear. Then I would be yelling "Get serious!" But he never did and he had a blast. I could of learned something from that.

Being so very intense about football games, whether it was his or North Hills and God forbid the Steelers were having an off day. He would get so angry and go to his room to watch it by himself and the next thing you knew, he was throwing stuff at his walls out of frustration. That boy loved his football…

On one of our Myrtle Beach trips with my family, all of us adults went out to "sight see" (yeah right) and my little sister was watching the kids. Just as we were coming in from bar hopping (oops, I mean sight seeing) my little sister Toni comes running out telling us that Anth had his entire head stuck under a dresser. Till this day, not one of us can figure out how he got a 6 drawer dresser on top of his head.

HATING his ear lobes. Yes, he always told me if I hit the lottery I had to promise to get his lobes reduced. Like the fool I am for him, I said ok.

When Anth was little, we used to play this game that came to be called the "squeeze" game. We would hold hands and one of us would squeeze the others how many ever times we wanted. Then the other person would squeeze you back the amount of times you squeezed. One day we were walking into Giant Eagle playing our game and Anth squeezed my hand 3 times. Before I could squeeze back he asked me if I knew what that meant. I said no and he said "3 squeezes means I Love You." He would just come up with these things. I loved him for that. His unconditional love for me was so important.

Riding his battery operated car with Jarett up to Gram's house. Both of the boys would take turns driving and BOTH of them wore these really cool sun- glasses. Yes, all at the age of 4 and 6.

Having to go to the hospital about a billion times when he was little because he was convinced he could fly like Super Man. He thought this of course because Jarett would tell him if he stood on the radiator in their room and jump that he would be able to fly. After having to get so many stitches, it kicked in and he finally believed me when I told him that indeed he could not fly.

Always wanting to make me happy no matter what. Not a Mother's Day went by that I didn't get a single red rose until I moved away. Then I always got a call. Sweet.

How bad he hurt after his cornea transplant and just wishing it was me going through the pain and not him. He did soooooo well though. Always the little trooper.

Me running in the living room when him and Jarett would be fighting with a pot in my hand because they both had gotten a lot stronger than me. Looking back that was hysterical.

Getting hit by a car when he was riding a bike in our front street. This Jackass comes to my door and says "I think I just hit your son." I look down the street and there is Anth sprawled out and saying he can't feel his legs. I am flipping, the ambulance is taking him to AGH, my neighbor called his Dad at work, we go flying down to the ER only to find Anth sitting up in bed, eating a popsicle and announcing that he is fine. As a matter of fact, he said it was really cool riding in the ambulance. Sick sense of humor, uh? I happen to think he was bored and just thought to break up his day he would take a ride.

Jumping from one tree to another because him and his brother were having a tree climbing contest and Jarett was winning. That wasn't so bad, but when he jumped, a branch from another tree went through his calf. He walks into the kitchen and says "Mom, look." I about died seeing this branch sticking out of his leg and he's telling me that "it really hurts." Well, no shit Sherlock. Yet, another trip to the ER.

How nervous he would get with first day of school, first football game, first dance, first girlfriend, and on and on and on. He was always so worried about how people perceived him, yet a lot of people he met, he seemed to hit it off with. Now, I am not saying that he liked everyone. It's just that he never pulled any punches with anyone. You always knew where he was coming from.

I always tried to see Anth every couple of weeks when I would come in to Pgh. It always amazed me at how open he was with me about EVERYTHING. He shared thoughts with me and told me "secrets" and had no problem showing affection publicly for me. I will tell you, he made my heart swell.

Making me smell his nose because he said it smelled like onions. When I did, he put his hands on either side of my face, kissed me on the lips and told me he loved me. That is a moment I draw on heavily right now.

Telling Kristy how awesome I was and really meaning it. In fact, he told me the same thing about her.

Just hanging out with him either for dinner, or at the bar, or just meeting to talk. Those damn beautiful eyes of his and that gorgeous smile. God. Getting a job at Shannopin County Club parking cars and not knowing how to drive a shift. Calling me and asking if I knew anyone that could teach him "real quick" because he was starting that night. That's just some of the things. I am going to be selfish and keep a lot of the others to myself.

Now, my thanks to all of you. He has many family members and truly good friends that he loved. There were people in his life that he felt some kind of connection to. He talked about each and every one of you at one time or another. The antics he shared! There were some stories that I never tired of hearing (thank you very much Doner). And there were others that made me worry. But I have come to realize that each and every memory defines who Anth was and always will be. My beautiful baby, the loving person, the caring friend, My Beloved Son.

Please keep Anth in your hearts and prayers.

Love You Bunches and Bunches,
Mom
xoxo

Added after the Book was made:

When Anth was little (and even when he got older) he ALWAYS sang when he was in the shower and the song he loved the most was "The National Anthem". Not kidding. He would sing it so loud and all of us would just laugh. When I told him one day that we could here him he didn't believe me. Used to drive Jarett insane.

One of his passions other that football was hockey. He had to be the biggest Tom Barrasso fan going. He knew everything about him, his birthday, how tall he was, how much he weighed, everything. I have a picture of him with his face pressed to the glass at the Civic Arena watching Tommy play. He was about 6 or 7 years old. So cute.

Playing hockey in the front street. He was always the goalie (of course). When he started to play organized hockey he beat out everybody for the goalie position. He was so hard to score on, in fact his team took the championship and it was the first time ever that a team won without being scored on. He was named player of the season.

Taking his allowance and buying a gift for an under privileged kid from the K Mart Angel tree. He always had such compassion for others.

When I first got my Monte Carlo (cherry red and decked out) I let him drive through Laurel Gardens before he got his licence and he stopped and told all of his buddies that I had bought it for him. He had them all believing it and when we drove away he just laughed and laughed.

He had a teacher in school that just would not call him Anthony, but he would call him Tony instead. Anyone who knows Anth knows that he didn't like to be called Tony. After much battling with this guy, Anth decided to start calling him Mr. Brown which of course was not his name. I got called up to the office and had to listen to Mr. McCurry explain to me that he was going to be suspended him if he didn't quit. I told McCurry that I thought it would be a good idea if the teacher would call him by his name. Anth went back to class, the teacher called him Tony, Anth called him Mr. Brown and Anth got 3 days in school. I was pissed and told McCurry that he would not serve in school and I took him out and he served 3 days out of school and I let him do what ever he wanted. He stood up for himself and I was really proud of him. When Anth went back to school, low and behold the teacher called him Anthony.

As I look at the video and pictures on the memory page it occurred to me that in a lot of the pictures Anthony has one sleeve up and one down. So funny, because when he was little I always had a problem with him keeping both of his socks up. It used to drive me crazy and I was always fixing the one that was down. He got so aggravated with me fixing them that he started to take one off and leave the other on. He got the nickname of "one sock" when he was little. He thought that was the coolest thing. Then as he got older, it was one pant leg up and one down. And now looking at the pictures, it is one sleeve up and one down. I remember asking him when he was little why he always had to have one sock up and one down and him looking at me as if he was asking "is there any other way?"

When Anth was little he always wanted to be a pediatrician. When I would take him to the doctors, he always had a ton of questions and thank God our doctor was patient enough to answer all of his questions. As he got older he decided that being a doctor was a little risky, didn't want to feel responsible if he made a wrong decision. He then changed his mind and decided he wanted to be a mortician because he figured it would be really hard to make a mistake with a dead person. Weird when you think that the last person that "worked" with Anth was a mortician. Maybe he knew something way back then....

When Anthony passed, I got his cell phone. When I looked through all the pictures in his archives, the very first picture on his phone was the lighted cross at Vincentian on McKnight Road. Although it hurt to see it, it reinforced that he did have a place in his heart for God. I had Erica print it for me and I still have it with all of his other things that I took when he passed. It is one of the most cherished pictures I have.